When Toaster's Want Vengeance!
by Klarey
Summary: FBI WARNING: DON'T READ! Some side affects to this story is puking, coughing, choking, random words, constipation, scented candle lighting, BlackEyedPeas obsession, going crosseyed, crawling on ceiling, strange foamlike substances coming out of your mouth
1. Default Chapter

SC: I've done it…I've created a monster! (Laughs crazily while going cross-eyed)

Chrono: Done what?

SC: Toasters is back!

Rosette: (Screams in fear)

SC: Yes! Yes! And also, this is the prequel to, "How They Fell in Love".

Chrono: How is that so when you're already making it? Weren't you supposed to make Toaster's first?

SC: Actually I did, but since Fanfiction hates my guts, they did somethin' really mean…

Chrono: So what's this going to be about?

SC: Well, in the first or second, possibly third, chapter of, "How They Fell in Love," it tells a summary of something's I can't really remember at the moment…

Chrono: Then why don't you tell Aion to get it?

SC: How?

Chrono: Tell him to search the web and receive it from you're document thingy!

Aion: I don't want to! Leave me alone!

SC: Good idea! Aion! Go search the web for HTFIL's summary!

Aion: GO TO HELL! (Disappears to search the web)

SC: Ehehehe….

Aion: (Comes back and is on fire) AHH! (Throws a letter at SC, who catches it and opens it)

Chrono and Rosette had just finally defeated Aion, but just before they could kill the demon, he escaped and now roams freely throughout the world with no home and with a horrible head injury that makes him think he's just an innocent man…with pointed ears and fangs. His favorite all time hang out area is with Chrono and Rosette. Chrono had gotten his horns back from Joshua, and Rosette's life span has been granted back to her. And Joshua…Joshua has been abducted by Santa Claus and his evil elf minions.

SC: (Examining it) Ahh, I see! We have to do this! All right! WELCOME BACK, WHEN TOASTER'S WANT VENGANCE!

* * *

Screaming echoed throughout the vast darkly lit hallways of a certain place called the Magdalene Order. Everyone who was sleeping peacefully before was now awake and rummaging in their rooms to find the door handle and see what the hell was going on outside. 

One of the doors of the girl's dormitory opened and a nun with short blonde hair stepped out of her room and met up with a nun with red hair and freckles on her face. "Anna? Do you know what's making those horrid sounds?"

The good sister named Anna shrugged sorrowfully and had a frown crease her light pink lips, "Actually, I'd ask **who **is making those horrid sounds."

"Not **them **again!"

The blonde haired nun and Anna turned around to see a brown haired girl with purple bags under here eyes, "Sister Claire!" The short blonde nun greeted.

"Hi, Mary…" Sister Claire mumbled tiredly, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

Mary grinned, but Anna remained frowning. "If they don't stop their stupid midnight games, Horny Kate's gonna rape em' all!" Anna stopped her sentence with a hint of reorganization hitting her full force. The three sisters's scowled as they muttered:

"We have to do something about Horny Kate…"

"YOU COME BACK HERE MISTER DEMON!"

"YOU'LL NEVER SLAY ME, PRINCE OF ENGLAND!"

"Stupid! I told you, I'm the Prince of New York!"

"…But…New York can't have Princes'! We're not ruled by monarchy!"

"…I think that's the smartest thing you've ever said, Chrono!"

"Shit! THE WORLD WILL BE RULED BY PURPLE HAIRED CHRONO'S ROAMING THE DESERT BY MONKEYS CARRIYING THEIR LUGGAGE AND EATING ZUCCHINI!"

"…Never mind…"

"Few! I thought I was turning smart!"

"Can't have that happen, can we?"

"Nope!"

An innocent looking boy grinned happily as his long purple hair swayed lightly as he began to run around the Order's courtyard in a position that resembled that of an airplane's. Behind him, a tall blonde haired girl ran after him with a wooden sword and a pirate's eye patch on her right eye.

With a fierce swing of her right arm, she swung her sword from her grasp and it hit the boy. The little boy fell to the ground instantly, eating dirt once done. The blonde grinned with delight as she ran at the collapsed multi colored eyes that belonged to the boy, since he apparently had one blue eye and one red one.

"Rosette! You made one of my contacts fall out!"

"…But…you don't need contacts!"

"Yeah, but you don't know that!"

"What?"

"I was trying to make people think that I'm human! Jinkees! Now help me look for my contacts!" The boy pulled the bloody wooden sword out of him and began looking around on the ground.

The girl known as Rosette also got to the ground and began looking while the boy plunged his hand into the ground, but screamed in agony and withdrew it instantly. "Chrono! What's wrong?"

"THAT VILE BEING BIT ME!" He screamed out, pointing to a gopher in the ground glaring evilly at poor Chrono.

"Ahh, but you can survive Sister Kate's sexual harassment and not a simple cute looking gopher?" Rosette insisted, petting the gopher that suddenly flung itself from the ground and latched itself on her neck.

"AHHH! VAMPIRE CUTE LOOKING GHOPHER!" Chrono and Rosette screamed out in unison, Rosette running around in circles as Chrono clung onto her hair and tried to pull the animal off.

Rosette tripped from a stray gland of grass and sent both the gopher and Chrono into the water fountain nearby. As soon as they hit, Chrono banged his head on one of the sides, making the water start up.

"Hey! We got the water working again!" Chrono chirped out cheerfully, ignoring the minor concussion he just received from his friend.

Rosette rubbed her neck sorely from the gopher's recent attack, "Yeah, after we last made it stop working, and I thought we were doomed to pay the price for another one!"

Chrono looked over and saw the "innocent" gopher swimming around for a minute in the water and then leap out of the fountain and run back into its hole. "That's a first…be sure to remind me to put this in our record of odd events!"

"Such as?"

"The vampire gopher! Attacked me first, then you, and then it lived to tell the tale to it's small gopher comrades!"

"Okay."

Rosette got up and grabbed her bloodied sword. "Are you healed yet? Cause I want to try to hit you in the head this time!"

The purple haired boy checked his red garments, then let out a panicked shriek. "I DON'T KNOW, ROSETTE! I'M WEARING ALL RED! SO WHERE AM I BLEEDING?"

"OH NO!"

They both screamed in horror, but their chorus of screams soon ended by Chrono being flung away from the fountain and somewhere up a tree and Rosette eating a shoe thrown into her mouth. They both looked up to see Horny Kate throwing random items at them.

"I told you two before! No late night playing! Now get back to bed, the both of you!" The headmistress screamed, giving one last object to be thrown before disappearing back into the building.

Chrono scowled and Rosette chewed thoughtfully on the shoe. "Man, she didn't get laid today!"

Rosette raised an eyebrow, "What's that?"

"You don't know!"

"Not really…I am only sixteen and lived at a stupid little church for four years who refuses to educate teens in the sexual way of man."

"True. Remind me to tell you as a late night story." Chrono fell out of his tree and landed near Rosette.

She pulled the shoe out of her mouth, "Alright! See you tomorrow, Chrono!" She threw it behind her and began walking towards the main entrance to the main building of the main Magdalene Order organization.

The boy nodded and walked towards his outside bench that he slept on, but accidentally tripped on the gopher's hole and twisted his ankle in a very nasty way…

Rosette laughed when she heard her friend cry out and went back to her dorm, soon after, Chrono rose back and began walking as if it were nothing. "Damn it! I have to remember to stop hurting myself!" He walked away stubbornly as a weird piano fell from the sky and killed him again.

"God hates me…"

Rosette woke up from a pair of arms shaking her awake. Her own blue eyes met to the fake one's belonging to the blue-eyed boy from last night. "Rosette! I died twice last night!"

The girl woke up, but stayed in bed, "You have to stop killing yourself, Chrono!"

"The second time it was from a piano from the sky!"

"How's that possible?"

"I don't know! Damn that ACME Corporation on innocent children's shows!"

"Huh?"

"Exactly!"

Rosette rose from her bed and saw Chrono wearing his normal red outfit and a smug look on his face. "So what should we do today?"

"GO ON A MISSION! GO ON A MISSION!" Chrono screamed out, one of his contacts falling out. "Oops!" He put it back in quickly and was back in his position of sitting cross-legged on Rosette's bed.

"Hmm, I guess we can…" A devious smile crept up on Rosette's lips, "First…WE'RE ON A MISSION TO FIND FATHER REMINGTON!" Rosette cheered and Chrono screamed with delight as the two crawled out of her room.

The two odd beings crawled quickly throughout the halls of the Magdalene Order, thus earning odd stares from nun's and father's. Though they paid them no mind as they urged themselves to complete the mission of finding the one known as Father Remington.

Chrono was in the lead when he stopped abruptly and stood up. The latter watched as her friend strangely began to climb the walls and clung to the ceiling.

She glared for a moment, but it disappeared as a blonde man ran quickly into her line of sight and nearly trampled her.

"MOVE! MOVE!" The man screamed as he actually did trample some nun's as he began to push everyone, including objects, out of his destructive path. Rosette huffed out a sigh as she relaxed against the wall she was leaning against, but her relief was short termed because of the headmistress…

Horny Kate bumped into Rosette and glowered angrily at her. "Rosette! Learn how to stay out of people's way!" She scolded, but then smiled. "Did you see where Father Remington went?"

The blonde nun gaped for a moment, her eyes sweeping downward in a very wrong move as she caught sight of some proof of her headmistress's hornieness. She instantly shrieked and collapsed to the ground, blood leaking from her eyes.

"…"

Horny Kate began walking rapidly in the now bloody hallway from people having the same reaction as Rosette when they caught sight of the head nun.

Mysteriously, the boy who had hid up on the ceiling made a quick pair of clicking noises with his tongue and turned his head around in circles that resembled the girl from the "Exorcist."

He then began his journey on the ceiling of finding Father Remington, thus, leaving poor Rosette behind from fear of her awaking and thrashing him for not warning her of Horny Kate's arrival.

Soon after, he found the man cowering in a large bell at the very top of the Magdalene Order. Grinning sheepishly, he flipped off from the ceiling and onto the bell, ringing it slight and then climbing inside to join the frightened Father.

The man looked up and then around him as he noticed he wasn't alone. "Wh-who's there?"

"You're worst nightmare…"

"Really?"

Chrono grinned briefly then said smoothly, "Nah, actually, Yer Mom's worst nightmare!" Followed by hysterical laughter.

"Chrono, you're an ass hole!" Father Remington spat out as he jumped down from the bell.

He didn't respond, but followed Remington down from the bell.

"Is there something you need?" Remington asked after he dusted himself off from the rather dusty bell.

Chrono nodded. "MISSION! MISSION, MISSION, MISSION!" He shrieked, jumping up and down.

Remington's eye twitched, "You and Rosette are mission-holic's, aren't you?" He grinned slightly when Chrono frowned.

"If you might want to know, I am not an alcoholic!" Chrono spat out, hiding a rather guilty looking face.

"No…I just meant that you two love missions…."

"You better not say that, "If you love em' so much, why don't you marry them!"" Chrono shouted, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at the mocking Priest.

"I just…never mind…" The man looked around nervously before returning his sight to the small boy in front of him. "To answer you're question, no, I don't have any missions."

The area was silent before high-pitched shrieks of anguish exploded into the air and the father had to cover his ears in a futile attempt to block out the sound.

"I WANT A MISSION! **I WANT A MISSION!**" He started pouting and threw himself to the ground, slamming his hands and feet over and over on the stone platform they stood on.

Remington grabbed onto Chrono and putted him off of the platform, watching as the wailing boy flew into an airplane and disappeared. "Spoiled brat…" He mumbled as he started climbing down from the tower and easing his way back inside of the building, only to meet up with Horny Kate.

"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Rosette woke up with a rather bad headache and blood staining her face. "My eyes! They burn like that one sign you see in the middle of nowhere and you get the sudden urge to cry which is probably because of allergy's, but nobody really cares about that!"

She looked up at the ceiling and just as she expected, Chrono was gone. "Stupid traitor! I knew he'd sell me out to the Cherokee tribe just for the strange use of experiments and the poking of needles and spears!" She ranted on while she journeyed the wide hallways and managed to not get into trouble.

Suddenly, to her demise, Anna appeared in front of her. When she scowled and turned around, Claire was blocking her! When she turned to the left, Mary was there to stop her! When she turned to her right, she crashed into a wall! SHE WAS TRAPPED!

"What do you three want!" She spat, rubbing her nose as she sourly spat on the ground.

Anna, Mary, and Claire grinned and then threw their hands onto her; dragging her off to the girl's dormitory. "DRESS UP TIME!"

At that, Rosette began to scream fearfully and claw at the ground in a vain attempt to stop them.

* * *

SC: THAT'S IT TO CHAPTER ONE! WOO WEE! 

Chrono: (Groans)

SC: Many of you liked the old Toaster's better, so don't worry! I'm only doing the first part of the first chapter! Doesn't make sense?

Aion: You never make sense!

SC: Shut it! Now review, or I'll disappear again! …Ehh…can't really do that, can I? Any who, to the important part. I just want to ask if, any of you want Ass back. If you do, do you want any changes to her? I'm open for suggestions!

Aion: Threaten her and she'll update faster!

SC: SHUT UP!


	2. Personalities, Pudding, and Baby Chrono?

SC: Unfortunately, at the moment, I have no reviews whatsoever on this fic I have worked ever so hard on.

Aion: Told you this would happen, but no! Nobody listens to me!

SC: (Sighs) It's all in a mere amount of time thought, my friends! SOON TOASTER'S WILL DOMINATE!

Chrono: How in the world did you come up with that name anyways?

SC: (Laughs nervously and twirls her fingers around in circles)

Rosette: (Gasps) You didn't!

SC: Actually, I did! AND IT WAS WONDERFUL! VENGEANCE IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL THING! (Laughs crazily)

Remington: (Reading disclaimer) Nope, don't own it.

SC: I've set up a new ploy for Chrono's character, folks! So I hope you enjoy cause it's been making me laugh like crazy!

* * *

"STOP! STOP! UNCLE! **UNCLE!**" 

"I SHALL SHOW NO MERCY ON THOU WHO DOES NOT WEAR MAKE UP!" Came in the chided voices of the horrible sisters.

Rosette let out a few more wails of horror before to her absolute fear; Anna managed to slip on some crimson lipstick matching Chrono's normal eye color onto her usually pale lips. At that, she stopped screaming instantly while she tried to lick the cursed material off.

"STOP THAT!" Anna grabbed onto Rosette's tongue in a swift forceful move and held it before the blonde's very eyes in an impossible maneuver.

She squealed slightly with pain as her eyes rimmed with a wet, warm liquid. Mary's face contorted to a look of sadness when she saw this, "Anna…perhaps we should stop now. I mean! Look at her! The poor dear's crying!"

They stared at the tall nun for a moment, but then shook their heads. "Nah!" They proceeded to apply the unnatural forms of beauty onto poor Rosette's face and then continued forth to Rosette's clothes…

Rosette then opened her mouth, staining lipstick onto her pearly white teeth. "**AHHH! NO!**"

At that precise moment, the red clad figure of Chrono's broke through the door and stared in amazement at the naked form of Rosette and the evilly twisted sister's. He gaped and looked as if he wanted to say something, but it never came out. He shut his mouth, but opened it again and then left the room all together.

"What was that about?" Claire asked Anna.

"Don't know…" They all shrugged and began to submit clothing onto Rosette's tan body. The girl only continued to scream and to struggle, but to no avail.

Chrono leaned against the door as his eyes continually twitched. _Rosette…naked…makeup…torture…clothing… Horny Kate…system malfunction…set into destruction mode…target spotted…search and destroy._

Suddenly, Chrono threw his head back and laughed crazily as he jumped from wall to wall on his way to his target's current location…

Horny Kate calmly, for once, worked on her overly stacked pile of paperwork on her desk. Yes, today, she wasn't going to rape or torture the innocent, today…she was going to act her age and finish the vile operation codes, FBI documents, and personal paperwork she had kept in her secret little box in her secret little drawer of her secret desk…which wasn't a secret.

But then, the wild boy that Father Remington had found with Rosette Christopher on the day that he had come for her to join the Order, raided into her room and aimed a gun (probably one of Rosette's guns since she had them literally littered everywhere in her room) straight at Horny Kate's head.

The sound of metal clanking against metal echoed in the deathly quiet room of the headmistress as the safety was disengaged. There was another click as he loaded it and returned it to her head.

He grinned crazily as one of his blue eyes sparked to life (ah, blood hell! He lost one of his contacts again!) with an absurd reason for aiming a weapon at her. Horny Kate gawked at him, absolutely speechless as he continued to smile.

Then he opened his mouth and spoke, "This time…it's personal…" He fired a warning shot; actually, he probably missed her altogether (but we really don't know how, since he was aiming the gun directly at her forehead; mere inches away) as she took the time to throw herself out the window in a vast attempt to escape the crazed boy.

He cursed under his breath, but stopped and stared awkwardly at the gun in his hand. _System overload! Retreat! Retreat I said! Leave no room for him to know about our top-secret organization! …Hey…is this one of Rosette's guns? I wonder if it's safe to wonder why it's in my hand…and why I'm in Horny Kate's office…and why the window's broken…and…HEY! Did I just hear Rosette scream?_

He shrugged, oblivious of the secret organization, which took form as that one little voice in your head that taunts you all the time, in his head that he had kept secret from himself, which is very odd…

Chrono tossed the gun carelessly out of the window, stopping as he heard it let out a shot and heard a scream of pain. Curious, he looked out the window to see Horny Kate bleeding to death and holding a camera close to her eyes. A click sounded off and she grinned happily.

"NOW I CAN SUE YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER DONE!" She screamed and got to her feet and ran off awkwardly sense she was actually bleeding to death.

He sniffled for a moment, but ignored it and went to find out if it really was Rosette screaming or if it was just his stomach growling for some chocolate pudding.

Rosette screamed while she viewed herself in the mirror. The blonde had on a short pink tutu, a light blush covering her cheeks, green creamed on around her eyes, dark crimson on her lips, her hair standing straight up, and a short, pink, loose top.

"I hate you guys…" She muttered sourly as she rubbed her soar throat from all the screaming she had done.

"Don't hate us cause you ain't us!" Mary chirped out.

"You don't look **that **bad!" Claire peeped.

Anna scoffed and hid a snicker.

"Anna obviously doesn't agree with that!" Rosette spat, wiping hastily at her face in a useless attempt to get the material off, but only succeeded in smearing it.

"Now look what you did!" Mary said.

"Are you kidding? I can't believe I let you guys do this to me! I should have been stronger!" Rosette fell to her knees and wept in her hands. Claire handed her a hanker chief.

"Don't worry! Next time, we'll do better!" Anna said cheerfully, Rosette only cried harder.

After two straight hours of getting out of the cursed pink tutu, top, and unnoticeable invisible rubber bands tying her hair up in weird stances; Rosette…was tired.

She grinned happily as she threw herself on her bed and started twisting and flexing in all different angles until she was satisfied with the blankets she laid on. Soon after she had gotten comfortable in her position and was near the edge of falling asleep, until Chrono walked in with a brown substance smeared all over his face.

Rosette groaned grumpily as Chrono started jumping on her bed. "GET DOWN! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"YOU LOOK WIDE AWAKE RIGHT NOW!" Chrono screamed with a light daze in his eyes. Her eyes swept down to the spoon and bowl in his hand and realized he must have eaten some sort of sugar to get him hyped up at that time of day.

Rosette grew angry as he continued to jump up and down on her bed. (Also spilling pudding everywhere!) "CHRONO! YOU ATE PUDDING…WITHOUT ME!" She slipped out of her bed and onto the ground and once more, started to cry.

He stopped jumping on the bed and gave her a strange stare; "I thought you'd be happy for me! After all I've done for you and the family!" He started crying, joining in with Rosette's sadness.

The pitiful couple cried together…until they stopped and Chrono decided he'd go on a dangerous mission to retrieve Rosette some pudding and come back alive to give it to her and she agreed and slept while the boy crawled on the ceiling, (falling off twice) and found the sugary substance and returned to the girl's dormitory and gave it to her and while she ate, he picked random pieces of hair from his head and threw it into the air; watching it float down slowly.

Soon he grew bored and fell asleep…on the room's one and only fan. (Which sooner or later broke and cause Horny Kate was still literally bleeding to death; she let them off easy with a fine of twenty-five dollars)

The sun was the cause of Rosette's awakening…and her grumpiness. Once up and dressed, she ranted on about how she hated the sun, but once out of her room, came back in instantly and started muttering about how much she loved the sun since the hallways of the Magdalene Order were seriously frozen.

Chrono woke up and found himself being gazed by many nuns. He tried to ask what was going on, but managed to drool all over himself. Oddly looking down, he saw his chubby arms waving around frantically as his short body tried to get up and stand up.

With no succession to the simple task, he fell down...

…And was comforted by everybody laughing.

"He looks so cute! Does he have a name? Or who's the parents?" A nun asked another.

Another nun poked through the crowd and smiled happily, "I found him in the bench next to Elder's hut! The poor thing! Must've been freezing to death!"

They all squealed and grabbed Chrono, hugging him tightly. This confused him. First, he was in what would seem a baby's body. Second, he had no clue why he was like this. And third, he knew he'd have to find some way to get to Rosette!

All of those reasons made sense…except for the last one. He didn't know why he had to find Rosette, but when he thought of her, he got a warm happy feeling in his stomach and he liked that happy feeling!

With braver determination, the boy (or should I say baby?) stood up with wobbly legs and moved forward with slow courageous efforts. _Yes! Good job, Chrono! Now since you only succeeded in taking two steps, you still have two hundred and thirty more to go, not counting the stairs!_

At that, Chrono sweat dropped and fell to the ground; sniffling. The nun's made cooing noises which only made him even angrier. Doing various hand gestures, he managed to point out his short, chubby middle finger at them all but they only giggled and pointed at him.

_When I find out what happened to me, I shall kill you all!_

"Gooba garba fon oo wh pend, ah lel e yab le!" Chrono hastily gurbled, biting at one nun who wanted to pick him up and hold him.

"Ah, he's so cute! Look at him, trying to talk!" They giggled again.

Chrono glared at them. One of them tried to tickle his chin, but he swatted her hand away with his own.

Suddenly, there was a scream and to Chrono's happiness and sadness, Rosette ran by…followed by Father Remington. Behind them, Horny Kate was throwing random objects at them.

He squealed in a desperate attempt for Rosette to hear him, but he was drowned out by Remington's own squeal once Horny Kate caught up to him and groped him.

This was going to be a long ride…

* * *

SC: I LOVE WHAT I HAVE DONE! 

Rosette: Now Chrono's ten times as cute!

Chrono: (Blushes)

SC: I've been waiting forever to do this to him! (Evil laughter) I'll update soon! Hopefully one of you guys will have the heart to review poor little, old me! (Starts crying)


	3. What the Hell Happened to Chrono?

SC: Ehehe…Sorry that this took so long to update, but if you've read my other works, you'd know that I've been having computer problems…(Glares evilly at computer)

Chrono: You should for what you've done!

SC: (Apparently didn't hear him)

Chrono: Hello?

SC: (Grabs a baseball bat out of nowhere and starts thrashing her computer) DIE YOU CURSED OBJECT!

Rosette: Well, since SC's occupied beating the carp out of her computer, let's start the story!

Disclaimer: Uh, I can't say that I own it, but then again, I can't say that I don't…I do own a vampire named Alucard though…

Alucard: GOD HAVE MERCY!

"I HAVE TWO LEGS, TWENTY LEGS, AND MR. PEANUT FOR A BRAIN!" Shouted some disturbed person, before diving into a nearby bush and vanished.

The nun's couldn't find who said that, so they returned their attention back onto the angered purple haired child laying down on the ground, engrossed in trying to build a pyramid with toy blocks. (That is, with many colored blocks! Ah, good times…good times…)

Instead of what the nun's had thought of a simple amusement, the now baby Chrono was trying to figure out how to build a sign that said, 'Find Rosette," but strangely…he forgot how to spell her name.

He garbled a curse, which only came out as a drool, and slapped the blocks away from him in disgust. In utter defeat, he collapsed pitifully on the ground.

"Ah, he's tired!" Sister Anna said happily, picking up the limp form of the baby and placing him carefully in her arms. "Nap time for Bob!"

"Bob? Why can't his name be Fred?" Sister Mary asked.

"Why not Joe?" Sister Claire pitched in.

"I say it's Bob and that's final!" Sister Anna declared, sticking a finger in Chrono's mouth. (But withdrew instantly from him biting her)

"Hey!" Exclaimed a certain blonde nun. "What's that?" Rosette pushed her way out of the crowd of nuns and pointed at the baby Chrono.

"It's not an object, Rosette! It's a baby named Fred!" Mary cooed, whilst sticking out her tongue out at Anna.

"A baby?" She asked. "What's a baby doing here?" The tall nun moved in for a better view and saw the tiny infant hyperventilating, before adding, "And what's his problem?"

"I think it wants Rosette to hold him!" Sister Claire exclaimed.

Anna stared back and fourth between Rosette and the small child and said, "I don't think so. I think he just wants to get away from her."

Rosette frowned as the small Chrono threw his head back and screamed loudly. Rosette shuddered before throwing her hands up to her ears to block out the sound. "Make him stop!"

Sister Mary took the baby out of Anna's arms and gave him to Rosette; the noise stopping instantly.

"Gosh, that sounded just like Chrono when he doesn't get 12 hours, 34 minutes, and 7 seconds of sleep!" Rosette exclaimed, carefully shifting the baby in her arms. "By the way…has anybody seen Chrono?"

The three sisters exchanged glances before shaking their heads and implying to a, "No."

"Hmm…" She stared down at the infant in her arms and let out a startled gasp to see his eyes red. "H-hey! Is this normal?" She asked hesitantly, showing the crimson irises to the other sisters.

"…Yeah…"

"Pretty sure it is…"

"…Uh, sure?"

Rosette nodded and grimaced at the now overjoyed Chrono in her arms. "Um, can somebody take him now?" Mary stepped forward and grasped the baby, but paused when he started wailing again.

"Uh-oh…do you guys know what this means?"

"What? What does it mean?" Rosette asked.

Mary continued, "…It means, Rosette, that Fred wants you to be his parent!"

Rosette sweat dropped before stating, "But I can't! I'm only…now how old am I?" Rosette counted several times on her fingers before shrugging and saying, "Anyways, I'll tell you guys later when I remember but to get to the point is, I'm too young to be an adult! I have no clue on what to feed him and to dress him and to brush his hair with and to change his diaper and to bathe him and what to name him!"

"His name is Fred."

"That's one thing down, but what about the other things?" Rosette asked worriedly.

"…You're on your own!" They exclaimed before the crowd of nuns shortly went on there way elsewhere.

The blonde nun sighed deeply while staring down at the baby Chrono, "Now what am I going to do?"

At that exact moment, an ancient creature crawled its way out of the ground and screamed out in excitement.

"THERE HE IS!"

"Huh?" Rosette backed away from the ancient creature known for being the Elder and gestured to the baby. "Him?"

"YES!" Elder skipped his way toward Rosette and pointed down at "Fred." "This is the mistake!"

"What?"

"The mistake! By adding a drop of Remington's hair, Horny Kate's saliva, one of my freckles a twinkie from Master Twinkie 1, and one of Chrono's blue eye contax it made Chrono turn into a baby!" Elder exclaimed excitedly.

Rosette stared flabbergasted before saying, "That's…really…gross…"

"So if you don't mind, I'll be taking Chrono and making him back to his typical self!" Before Rosette could say anything, Elder had swung Chrono out of her arms and went back down his hole.

Rosette's eye twitched before she fell to her knees in tears, "I just discovered that I was going to take on the horribly difficult path of parenthood and just starting to like it when it was all taken away from me in the form of a stupid perverted old fart!"

SC: …Horribly short, but really, it's not my fault!

Chrono: At least I'll be back to normal again.

Remington: Now there's something really wrong about Elder's potion thinger majig!

SC: And that is…?

Remington: How in the world did he get a piece of my hair? And plus, make it a drop?

SC: I…don't…know…

Chrono: Review please, then the next chapter will hopefully be longer and come out a lot sooner!

SC: AND I HAVE A NUMBER ONE FAN! I promise I'll fulfill your request in the next chapter, Master Twinkie! OH! OH! AND BE EXTRA SURE TO ALL WATCH STAR WARS EPISODE THREE COMING OUT MAY NINETEENTH!


	4. The Boogie that Be

SC: Oh yeah! Who wants Toaster's?

Crowd: (Screams threats at SC while throwing random food)

SC: Ehh… (Runs away)

Disclaimer: WHY? WHY DO YOU ASK SUCH POINTLESS QUESTIONS? NO! I DON'T OWN IT!

* * *

A now fixed Chrono…I mean, the normal Chrono walked through the hallway leading up to Rosette's room as slowly as possible. …But soon he found a penny, yeah, a penny! You heard me! So he picked it up and stuffed it in his ear to spend it later on some fudge… 

After his penny finding experience, Chrono stepped uneasily into Rosette's room, only to find the girl fast asleep.

Suddenly, Chrono started doing that one wavy thing with his arms and started singing horribly off tune songs, one in fact done by Black-Eyed-Peas and that SC is going to get flamed for putting it in this cursed story because Black-Eyed-Peas don't even exist yet in the timeline Rosette and Chrono are in and practically nobody likes them at all except for me, but I only like that one song that I'm about to put in this horrible story…

"Yo, you hear 'em sirens  
I know you hear 'em  
Don't get scared  
It ain't five-o (naw)  
That's the funk yo (yeah)  
Don't act like you didn't know (hun)  
It's just the way it goes (yeah)  
When you messin' with the funk (yeah)  
You bumpin' in the trunk (yeah)  
You it's what you want (yeah)  
So just bump, the bump, da-bump  
Bump, bump, bump it up."

Chrono started doing the moon walk everywhere (Ceiling, walls, floor, windows, Horny Kate) and then started breaking down. While Chrono did whatever he was doing, Rosette started mumbling in her sleep…

" Cause when I hear music  
I just lose it  
I wanna do it, with you, you, you, you  
And when I hear music  
I get in too it  
I wanna do it, with you, you  
Awwwwwwwwww"

Chrono, completely oblivious of what she just said, suddenly was doing what DJ's do best.

"Puchu-bop-puchu…" Chrono sputtered for a couple of moments as he tried to figure out how DJ's make those weird noises that they make while they are stupidly scratching up a very expensive record and also because…DJ'S DON'T EXISTICE!

_Sometime in the deep reaches of hell…Okay, Kansas City at 12:30._

"Tired, hungry…what was that other one…oh yeah! Thirsty!" A tired wanderer rasped out, carrying a big luggage case behind her. Strangely, the person (wherever she lives, I don't really know cause I don't really think that it's appropriate to ask my number one fan where she lives) was in the desert (and I don't think there's deserts in Missouri, I don't know, I haven't gone there…yet) in Kansas city, heading to Idaho, (yes, Idaho! The place famous for potatoes…my home.) in search of her number one fan listing author. (I have no clue why my number one fan would do this since I really am lying about living in Idaho, but we can just pretend that I live there…really, I'm really lying about that…)

"I WILL GO TO IDAHO! TO GET…a potatoes…BUT NOT JUST ANY POTATOE! NO! A POTATOE GIVEN TO ME FROM…MY NUMBER ONE AUTHOR!" The tired traveler laughed crazily and began to run through the desert at high speeds, passing by many confused truck drivers.

_Any who, back at the Order._

Rosette was still sleeping (even though it is 3:37 pm exactly on a Sunday), Chrono is in her room somewhere (I can't find him because he ate the camera I labeled specifically for him called the "Chrono Cam" and now I can't risk using the "Rosette Cam" cause she'll kill me if I use it for him) and Horny Kate is somewhere in the cafeteria eating many, many Twinkies and repeating, "Fear leads to Anger, Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to Doobies, and Doobies lead to Twinkies."

Though, Rosette just woke up because she happened to be sleeping on Chrono…

"Bumpy, bumpy, stupid bumpy covers…" Rosette grumbled, lazily slamming her head onto the bed (Chrono) she laid on.

…following shortly a scream from Chrono.

…and then a scream from a very startled Rosette.

…and then a scream from Elder who happens to be in bed with Horny Kate…

Rosette and Chrono glance around the room and then at each other, and then to the penny still behind Chrono's ear…

Then Rosette broke the silence by saying, "I'm going to burn the hell out've some scented candles I have. Wanna come with me?"

Chrono nodded and the duo went under her bed and started giggling insanely like two retarded, blonde, preps in high school looking at Aion.

A puff of red smoke came out from on top of Rosette's bed and out came Aion in a Gene Simmons like appearance from the band _KISS_ with his tongue hanging out and all the leather and chain material included.

"ARE YOU DISSING ME, SC? AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU!" Aion sobbed harshly, but soon noticed a very important detail about Rosette's room. "Alright, who's burning scented candles?"

Aion looked crazily around, but saw no sign of scented candles anywhere, "NO! I MUST FIND THE SCENTED CANDLES!"

He disappeared just as Rosette and Chrono appeared from underneath her bed.

* * *

SC: That's the end… 

Chrono: What a…random chapter…

SC: I'll be getting to the points of things soon…and Master Twinkie's role in this whole ordeal will become clearer soon… All I have to say is keep reviewing me peoples and please tell me if you have typed any stories of yours that you would like me to read and to review!


	5. To Be or Not to Be The Phantom

SC: Sorry about how I said I'd be updating more in last chapter, but since I went on a much unexpected vacation, I couldn't help but not type my stories.

Chrono: Such a bad, bad updater…

Aion: She used to be a good updater! Three times a week she'd update!

SC: Until I got very busy…

Rosette: Hey! It's only been one week since you last updated! …I think…

SC: Thanks, I feel SO much better now…

Disclaimer: Killer headache, running for a bathroom, and stuck in a cramped car with my back screaming at me to stretch. Don't own Phantom of the Opera or Chrono Crusade. (Laughs evilly, but suddenly coughs out blood) Did I mention that I can possibly be suffering from a severe case of stupid cancer?

* * *

"Father Remington!" 

No answer…

"Father!"

No answer...

"Remy?"

GOD DAMN IT! STILL NO FRIGGIN ANSWER! (This is me talking, not the stupid Horny Mother… Bad word, can't say it…)

"Cameron Diaz?"

Suddenly, a blonde haired man popped out of Horny Kate's coffee cup.

"I am the naturally good looking, with no artificial implants, Cameron Diaz! How may I bitch for you today?" Remington screeched out crazily while balancing a knife on his head.

Horny Kate calmly folded her hands over her desk while her feet busily scratched her head, "Father, may I please ask if you took your stupid cancer pills?"

(GOD DAMN IT AGAIN! THAT STUPID BITCH TOOK MY MADE UP CANCER CALLED STUPID CANCER!)

Horny Kate calmly ignores the hyped up stupid cancer filled author as she calmly waits for Remy's answer.

"…What was the question again?" Remington's stomach growled. Horny Kate raised an eyebrow.

SC: Sorry, guess I'm hungry too…please resume!

Remington poked his belly, "Totally cool!" Another thunder of laughter.

SC: Wait, did I forget to mention that my family and I are in the middle of the tornado state and thunder is currently enveloping my environment in which I own? I'm talking nonsense, I know…

Readers: FORGET YOU! RESUME THE (Enter severe phrases of bad words meaning that you guys are extremely pissed off and not currently laughing madly because I am slowly dieing in this small hell hole…) STORY!

SC: Okay…

Anyways, Remington laughed and Horny Kate thought Remy was seducing her and was just about to jump him until a very sad looking Rosette Christopher entered.

SC: Look at how I managed to put Rosette's full name without any damned spelling errors!

Readers: (Pitch forks ready)

SC: POTTY BREAK! (Runs)

Aion: (Promptly takes over the story while SC runs for her bladder's life)

Horny Kate remained frozen in air while Remy takes no interest in the horny mother at all and acknowledges Rosette kindly.

"Hello, Rosette!"

"Hi, Father…"

Remy shrieked and his face stretched out in a not very human like way, "Good God, Child! Where has your beautiful smile gone?"

Rosette sniffed and then suddenly collapsed in tears in Remy's lap, "Well… (Sniff, sniff. Blow of tissue)…Chrono's been missing for three whole days and I can't find him in his usual hiding can where you leave a penny and he scares the hell out of you by jumping on you and eating your brains out!"

Remy's eyebrow lifted, "Okay, then…"

Rosette sniffed again, "Oh where has my loveable little Chrono gone?" She wandered slowly out of the room after she carefully examined a crack in the ceiling and went off still searching for her soul bound demon.

Horny Kate suddenly gained back motion and resumed in raping Remington in a very scary manner.

Meanwhile in Meridian.

"All right then, explain more slowly this time…"

"Icameallthewayfrommyhometoseeyouandtogetyourautographandtohugyouandloveyouandtakeyouhomewithmetobemybestestfriend,inwhichicanstillloveandadoreyouandfeedyousmalllittlefortunecookies!"

"…I don't think that's slowly…"

A very confused author stood at her doorstep in her pajama's (gum stuck to her messy hair) and scratching her butt while a very exhausted looking Master Twinkie (who now has joined us Fanfiction writers as…crap I forgot her name again!) who was offering fortune cookies to her. (If you read that very long mixed together paragraph, you would know.)

"I'm your biggest fan!"

"See how simple that was? …wait…AHH!" The author screamed and rushed past the now joined fanfiction author and dove to the ground.

Master Twinkie, who got blown away some distance by a strange explosion that just momentarily happened, got back up to see Aion laughing crazily and flying away.

"That's the second time that bastard blew my house up! And I just got home too!" Pip (My current name in which I change very frequently) screamed, rummaging around in the dirt, apparently looking for something.

"Okay," Master Twinkie sweat dropped when Pip laughed while pulling out a rocket launcher.

"COME! WE MUST GO OUT FOR SOME OLD CLASSIC AION HUNTING!"

Master Twinkie was tragically being pulled away from the house by an insane fanfiction author to look for an anime character…

SC: Tragic, ain't it?

Master Twinkie: I don't know about this…

Meanwhile…

"CHRONO!" A rather desperate Rosette cried out, water surrounding the nun completely.

"I CRY RIVERS OF TEARS FOR YOU!" She shouted again.

"_Have you missed me good, Monsieur's?_" A soft voice cooed out.

Rosette looked around her, "There are no monsieur's here!" She screamed out right when a cold, clad hand rested on her shoulder.

It was Chrono wearing half a mask and in somewhat of an old modern day suit with a black cape attached to it.

His eye twitched as he spoke, "Where are all the Monsieur's?" He looked around wildly, his mask partly falling off, "Damn it! I need more glue!" Chrono started to fiddle around with it, once getting it to stay, he looked up but all he saw was the room passing by him as he was flying through the air from Rosette apparently smacking him.

Rosette withdrew her hand and glared at the now grounded Chrono, who is daze at the moment cause he just hit a wall with a picture of some bitch named Magdalene, "Where have you been, Chrono?"

Chrono flinched from Rosette's screaming before speaking, "Good Mademoiselle! Whatever makes you think my name is Chrono? For my name is Erik!"

(For those who don't know, in the book "The Phantom of the Opera," Erik is the name that the Phantom gave himself.)

"Really? Then who am I?" Rosette asked with no apparent reason.

Erik seemed to think about that before he found his answer, "Christine Daae!"

"Okay!"

Suddenly, Erik grabbed Christine and pulled her up close to his short, black body, "Come! I shall teach you music in which I do not know how to play with hope that you might get it!"

Christine looked confused for a moment, but then nodded.

Just as Erik was about to leave the area he found Christine in, a voice boomed out screaming, "CHIRSTINE! CHRISTINE!"

Erik almost dropped Christine as he whipped around to see whom was calling his lover's name, "Shit!" He regained Christine in his arms once he saw who was calling her.

Remington.

"NO! How many times do I have to say it! Raoul! My name is Raoul!"

SC: Sorry…

Raoul…

"Much better! …ERIK! HAND BACK MY BETHROLED!" He screamed out, waving his long golden locks.

"NEVER! SHE HAS GONE PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN!"

"PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN!" Christine echoed.

Erik turned to Christine, "Don't do that again…that's my job."

"Sorry."

"DON'T SAY SORRY TO THAT MAN, CHRISTINE!"

"What the hell is going on here?"

Erik, Christine, and Raoul all turned to see Horny Kate with her hair up in a bun and her nun outfit gone.

"And who are you?" They all said in unison.

"Madame Giry!"

Behind her Azmaria stepped out and bowed, "And I'm her daughter Meg!"

Erik, Christine, and Raoul looked at each other before screaming and running.

Just then, behind both Meg and Madame Giry, a Spanish soprano singer named Carlotta started singing Margarita. Did I also say Carlotta had long red hair and had boobs that God never dreamed of making real? And also, her dress sucks.

A while later, Erik, Christine, and Raoul are all looking at each other in the now no longer the Magdalene Order but a Paris Opera House.

"I think we have our parts mixed up…" Erik mumbled.

"With who?" Christine asked.

"Raoul's part belongs to me!" Raoul cried out.

"Who says?" Erik snapped back.

"Because our names both start with R's!" Raoul shot out.

"He's got you there…" Christine mumbled.

"Well, if your Raoul, then I wonder who the two leaders of the Opera house is!" Erik shouted.

…To be continued?

* * *

SC: I think I kinda stole the idea from Master Twinkie on making a Phantom of the Opera story…but hey! Mine's stupid and her story will be great! 

Aion: Your story's make no sense at all.

SC: My favorite character in the Phantom is Erik! He's hot if he kept his mask on!

Rosette: That's kinda rude…

SC: Hey, it's true!

Chrono: I like Raoul…

SC: Well, I bet you're the only one who does!

Chrono: We'll see in the reviews!


	6. Door Bell Ditching Fun!

SC: Oh yeah! I'm updating! I'm updating! And I updated We're No Angels yesterday too! Such a great improvement!

Aion: Whatever…

SC: Anyways, Aion's in a bad mood (like usual), I'm kind of happy, and the cast is ready! So let's get started then!

Disclaimer: It's called fan fiction for a reason people…it's not like I sell any of this stuff… (Coughs vigorously)

* * *

_**WHERE WE LAST LEFT OFF!  
**_

Erik sighs heavily and pulls off his mask, throwing it in a corner whilst standing up lending Christine a hand to help her up, "I'm bored, who's up for a game of Ring-Aion's-Door-Bell-And-Run-Like-Hell-Before-He-Catches-You-And-Eats-You-For-Dinner?"

Raoul, now Remington, Christine, now Rosette, and Erik, now Chrono all raise their hands. Chrono instantly starts laughing.

"HA! MAJORITY RULES!"

"What?" Remington asked.

Chrono looked around, "Oh, never mind…"

**_In mere seconds, the trios are at Aion's bitch, I mean, beach house…_**

Chrono's still laughing while Rosette's got on a look that says 'You-know-I'm-a-Bad-Girl. Remington is in a fatal position crying softly to himself.

"Okay, it's ever man," Chrono's interrupted by Rosette, "what?"

"Every _man_?" She growls out slowly.

"Oh, ever woman for herself! Now let us draw hairs and whoever has the longest wins!"

"Where are we going to get hairs from?" Remington asks, now interested in Chrono and Rosette's conversation.

"Hmm…" Chrono looks hesitantly at Rosette, but she only scowls deeply at him, "Fine then!" The demon pulled hard on one of his precious purple hairs and managed three of them exactly.

"How…weird…" Remington mumbled.

Chrono looked at all three of the hairs and gave himself the shortest. Rosette then, copying Chrono, chose the medium and gave Remington the last one…which was the longest.

Remington looked down at the short hair in his hand, blinked, blinked again, and then threw a prissy fit, "NO FAIR!"

Chrono and Rosette grinned in that I'm-a-homicidal-maniac-and-you-can-bet-that-I'll-kill-you-without-hestation-though-I-don't-even-know-what-that-word-means look.

The Father shuddered, but gave up in the end as he stomped off angrily to the door of the beach house.

He rang the doorbell and stood there blankly.

**_Somewhere in Antarctica…_**

The weird, insane author stands utterly stumped in the freezing cold winds of Antarctica in shorts, flip flops, and a tang top with her loyal number one fan besides her.

"I think we lost him…" Calamity Jane mumbles in her ice cube like state.

"IF THERE IS A WILL THERE IS A WAY! AND MY WAY IT IS OR THE HIGHWAY!" The author screams out, completely unfazed by the blistering cold.

"Whatever you say…"

Fire blazes deeply in SC's eyes, "DAMN YOU AION! YOU SHALL PAY! OH YES, YOU WILL PAY!" Any body who was at least five miles away from SC and Calamity Jane would've heard insane laughter.

_**Back to Aion's beach house…**_

Rosette gave out a soft cry, mumbling, "He's so brave!"

Chrono frowned, but then noticed a very important rule in Ring-Aion's-Door-Bell-And-Run-Like-Hell-Before-He-Catches-You-And-Eats-You-For-Dinner. Chrono then shouted, "**_RUN, FOREST, RUN!_**"

Remington turned around, just as Aion's door opened, "What in bloody hell are you talking about?"

There was a slight cough and Remington turned around to come face to face with…Remus Lupin!

"Hello!" The wizard grinned happily, despite his shaggy appearance.

Remington raised an eyebrow, "Who the hell are you?"

"…You're too cruel!" Remus Lupin sobbed, running back inside the house.

The priest shrugged and shut the door, "It's your turn, Rosette!"

Rosette huffed and hurried up to the door, ringing the door bell as soon as Remington got back down with Chrono. She too, did not run.

Chrono's eye twitched, "DOES NOBODY KNOW WHAT YOUR SUPPOSED TO DO IN Ring-Aion's-Door-Bell-And-Run-Like-Hell-Before-He-Catches-You-And-Eats-You-For-Dinner?"

Rosette grinned when the door opened and revealed…LORD VOLDERMART!

Aion: You're just obsessed with Harry Potter today, aren't you?

SC: Hey, as most of you know, the sixth book is coming out July 16th! I'm just preparing them all to get off their couch and go buy it!

Rosette's grin slowly slid off her face once the Dark Lord stepped towards her menacingly, "Uhh, sorry, wrong door!"

She quickly lunged at the door's handle and slammed it shut before hollering, "CHRONO! IT'S YOUR TURN!"

Chrono got up and walked past the shaken Rosette to the door, "Watch me get Harry Potter or something…"

_**Else where…**_

Scooby Doo and Fred are playing chess. Just then, Fred lost his King, "DAMN YOU, YOU STUPID NO GOOD MOTHER (I think you know why I just did this) DOG! YOU CAN GO TO HELL WITH YOUR STUPID CLUES TOO!"

_**Back at Aion's beach house…**_

He rang the doorbell and waited for at least thirty hours before someone finally came to the door, apparently it wasn't Remus Lupin, Lord Voldermart, or Harry Potter, but none other than Aion himself.

"DAMN BLOODY SALES PEOPLE! NOW I'M GONNA EAT YOU FOR DINNER!" Aion lunged at Chrono and grabbed him with his mouth, the small demon boy screaming for help all the while.

"Maybe we should help him?" Remington suggested.

"Nah, he'll be fine! Let's go find Joshua," Rosette said, grabbing Remington and holding him high above her head while she ran up the steps of Aion's beach house and into the doors and past the creepy maid bitch and past a drunk Shader, Jenia, Vid, and Rizel singing the tunes to "American Woman," past a bunch of naked kids held in weird capsule thingy things while the now free Michael Jackson molests them, and finally to find Joshua sitting on the toilet in the highest tower of Notre Dame.

"…This isn't right…" mumbled a very confused Remington, who lost his sanity right when he saw MJ molesting the kids, when instead a Priest should've been doing that instead.

"JOSHUA! YOUR CONSTIPATION PROVES THAT YOU'RE ALIVE!" Rosette shrieked, dropping Remington (who started crying instantly) and hugged her straining brother.

"Hi…ERR…Rosette…" He rasped out.

Rosette grabbed her brother and held him above her head (toilet and all), grabbed Remington, ran back down the stairs of Notre Dame, ran past the bunches of naked kids being held in weird capsule thingy things while the now free MJ molested them, past the drunk Sinners singing a new tune "Lonely" done by Acon (I think), past the creepy maid bitch, and back to the still screaming Chrono trapped in Aion's jaws in which, Rosette pulled him out, said sorry to Aion and informed him that he can try eating Chrono some other time and ran all the way back to the Magdalene Order.

"JOSHUA! WE'VE FINALLY FOUND YOU!" She cried out, hugging her now relieved brother.

"Yeah, I was---"

_**THE END!**_

…_**of the chapter…**_

_**

* * *

**_  
Rosette: WHAT THE HELL?

SC: (Laughs like a homicidal maniac)

Rosette: Right when I found Joshua too, does this mean that I'm going to lose him again?

SC: Yep! And next chapter, we finally get on track with the old Toasters! And please take note that if any of you have a story of yours that you'd like me to read and review, please, please, please tell me! Cause I probably won't see it since I hardly ever read Chrono Crusade fan fics anymore. Sorry, not a really a social person…I think…READ AND REVIEW!


End file.
